Surprise Visits!

"Monika, Roxy!" an unfamiliar voice rang through the mountains. My first thought was "who calls me Monika out here?" quickly followed by "who care?! I'm about to have company again!" I had just lost my last hiking buddy in Waynesboro, and 3 days of hiking alone in 80 degree temperatures was wearing on my physically and mentally. So I picked up my pace and hurried to the unfamiliar voice calling my name.

As I rounded the corner of yet another switchback down the mountain, I was saw a man I didn't recognize, and as he began to introduce himself I thought "Oh man, I feel bad, I must have met him earlier on the trail and I have no idea who he is."

"You're not going to believe this, but I'm Scott, this is Gavin," he motions to the baby on his back, "and Annette is right behind us."

Annette?! She lives in New York, and we hadn't made any plans to meet. Was this real life?

To my glee, there she was, marching up the mountain in a pair of flip-flops. Annette was my closest friend in middle school, but after moving away in high school, she and I had only seen each other a handful of times. Despite the immense distance always between us, she has always been someone I can turn to.

Apparently Annette, her son Gavin, and her boyfriend Scott were on the way to visit her parents in North Carolina, and she saw my Facebook post that morning from Shenandoah National Park. Annette knew I was carrying a Spot GPS tracker, and called my mom to get access to my real time location. After 3 hours of trying to intersect my path, she finally found me.

The visit could not have come at a better time. Feasting on Polish food and interacting with the baby (awkward), brightened my spirits and reinvigorated me. Although brief, the unexpected visit was a break from the unrelenting heat and weariness of  the trail.

To make Shenandoah National Park even more exciting, 2 days later I had a surprise visit from my dad! Just as I was hiking down to Thornton Gap, I see him walking up the mountain toward me. Once again I got super spoiled and enjoyed 2 days of hiking southbound with him while carrying a very light pack.

Sorry for the lack of photos with this post. I'm staying at a hostel that has a very limited bandwidth usage agreement and does not allow for uploading photos. The next few weeks I will have very limited access to Internet, so don't expect to see many updates.

Trail People

Since I started hiking the Appalachian Trail later than most people, I don't meet many people along the trail. Although I meet people at shelters for the night, I hike alone enjoying my peace and solitude. 

All this space, just for me. 

Usually after meeting someone, it is rare that I ever see them again. The transience of trail life suits me well, because I'm not out here to make deep long-lasting friendships. Like I've said before, my main focus on the trail is my own happiness, something that I have neglected for too many years. 

But old habits die hard, and despite wanting to be selfish and worry just about me, I've found myself empathizing with many of the lost souls on the trail. The AT tends to attract lonely, troubled people who are out here because they just don't know where else to go or what else to do. Maybe I'm just in a mini-bubble of stragglers who are struggling with personal demons. At the moment I feel like I'm in the minority, because I'm out here out of joy not sorrow. 

It might be a personality flaw, but I tend to attract lost causes. Despite trying to focus on me, I still can't say no to people who seem to need my help. My empathy is my biggest obstacle. Out on the trail, most people are looking for someone who is willing to listen. Even individuals providing trail magic seem to be just searching for a way to connect with other people for a little while. It seems like such a little thing, but for people who are lonely or hurting, knowing that there are people who understand their plights makes life just a little bit better. 

Old man came out to the trail to have lunch because he just wanted someone to spend the time with. 

Being on the trail is helping me better balance the needs of others versus my own needs. While I used to get bogged down trying to make everyone else happy, out here I can literally just walk away when someone else's problems start to hinder my happiness. The trail provides the perfect excuse for moving on and making sure that my happiness stays my number one priority. 

Happy selfies :) 

Adventures With Roxy

This post is brought to you in partnership with Merrick. All thoughts and opinions are my own. 

As Roxy and I hike the Appalachian Trail, many people casually mention that they would love to hike the trail with their dogs. Hiking with a four-legged companion is rewarding, but it completely changes the dynamic of trail life. Before you set out on an adventure with your furry best friend, be sure you are truly prepared for the responsibility it entails. When you choose to hike with a dog, you no longer get to hike your own hike, you are hiking your dog's hike. 

My name's Roxy, and I've decided today would be better spent playing fetch instead of walking down this dirt path. 

For me, hiking Roxy's Appalachian Trail adventure has been immensely joyful and entertaining. Having her as a companion has forced me to be more easy going and flexible. I allow her to dictate the flow of our daily hikes, and she fills each day with fun. No matter how hard the trail gets, or how brutal the weather is, I always have Roxy to share the experience with. Living in the woods for months can be trying, but knowing I have a loyal companion by my side makes even the most challenging days bearable. 

Hiking is hard, let's just take a nap. 

Keeping Roxy well cared for is always at the forefront of my thoughts. The Appalachian Trail is not just a leisurely stroll through the woods. It is over 2,000 miles of rugged terrain, up and down mountains, across rivers, and over jagged rocks. The most important part of our backcountry adventure is making sure Roxy is in peak physical condition. This is made possible by the best dog food ever: Merrick's Backcountry Raw Infused Kibble. On the AT, Roxy is basically living like a wild animal, so it makes sense to feed her a dog food developed to match the dietary needs of her ancestors. The grain-free, protein rich Backcountry kibble is perfectly formulated for Roxy's high energy lifestyle. 

Lunch on a mountain top. Roxy needs the best dog food ever to get her to these great heights.

On the trail Roxy only eats dry kibble because it is easy to carry. Stopping in town means it is time for a special treat for Roxy: a can of Merrick's Backcountry recipe dog food. 

Being powered by Merrick's Backcountry line of dog food has allowed Roxy to tackle even the most challenging obstacles. Her endurance and energy levels continue to amaze me. Remarkably, after almost 2 months on the trail, Roxy has only lost 5 pounds of body weight. Back home in the "real" world and on an ordinary dog food diet, Roxy struggle to maintain a decent body weight. She was a picky eater and was always very active, so when we went on backpacking trips she always ended up with unhealthy weight loss. Since switching to Merrick's Backcountry dog food for the AT, Roxy is healthier and happier than ever. 

Roxy channels her inner mountain goat while traversing a challenging portion of the Appalachian Trail. 

Speaking of happiness, if you choose to hike with a dog, it is crucial that you always remember to find time to let your dog be a dog. You might think hiking up a mountain and being rewarded with a gorgeous view is the most satisfying feeling in the world, but your dog doesn't care about views. 

We walked uphill for 2 hours in the heat so I could sit on a rock while my human takes pictures. Cool dude, when do we get to play? 

No matter how hard your hike is or how dreadful the weather is, make sure to find time every day to do something your dog really enjoys: a game of fetch, a roll in tall grass, a swim in a creek. Every dog is different, but no matter what, if you are attentive to their needs and make time to fulfill them, you'll end up with a healthy, happy hiking companion. 

To learn more about the outstanding line of Merrick's Backcountry dog food visit their website: http://bit.ly/1GMOWbM

My human seems to think water falling down rocks is fun to look at, but look at this awesome stick I found to play with! 

Grass! Glorious grass! We walk day after day on dirt and rocks, so it feels so good to finally have grass to roll on.

No rawhide bones in the backcountry, so this log will have to work as a chew toy. 

Mind Games

Not my favorite topic to discuss, but since I am fundraising for Hike for Mental health, I thought I would share a journal entry I wrote on the trail last week. I'm not looking for pity, so please don't post comments about how you feel sorry for me, or know what I'm going through. If you would like to join me to help raise awareness for mental health issues, please consider donating to my campaign: https://www.z2systems.com/np/clients/hike/campaign.jsp?campaign=61&fundraiser=3830&

"It is 8:20am on a Thursday morning and I am sitting in a shelter, alone, watching the rain turn the ground into a patchwork of muddy puddles. All of my belongings are strewn haphazardly around the shelter, reminiscent of my college dorm. I have 1/2 a jar of peanut butter, 12 ounces of water, 4 packets of instant coffee, and 1 pound of dog food. 7 miles away waits a package full of food and supplies to fuel the next leg of my journey. 

7 miles. At this point that distance should not faze me. I've hiked 115 miles over the past 5 days, averaging 23 miles per day. One day I managed to hike 22 miles before 2pm. I'm fast, strong, and very capable of hiking 7 miles. 

But today 7 miles is feeling like an impossible distance. Instead of waking up early and getting on the trail by 6:30am, I've procrastinated and avoided reality. My mind is telling me I can't hike 7 miles and that there is no point in even trying. "Just stay in bed, give up," says my mind. 

If I had woken up in this state back in the "real" world, I would have done just that. I would call in sick to work, crawl back in to bed, avoid Roxy's attempts to get me functioning, and just shut down. 

Depression is scary. People who haven't experienced it often try to offer advice or make comments that make it clear they have no understanding of the realities of depression. I've had people make comments to me along the lines of "why are you sad? You're always posting about how perfect your life is." That really emphasizes the scariest part of what's happening. I know I have nothing to be sad about, but I'm fighting an internal battle with myself to convince my mind of what I know is true. Depression is not just sadness, it is an all encompassing dread and fear. I'm completely overwhelmed with a crushing weight that makes even the simplest tasks seem completely in achievable. 

Back home, this depression easily overtook me. Staying in bed for days at a time was a plausible choice, but now my options are limited. 

If I don't leave this shelter soon, I am going to starve. I don't have a kitchen full of food waiting a few steps away. I can't just put life on hold and let this depression keep me here. 

It is 9:10am. The rain is still coming down, my belongings are still disorganized, and more food has not magically materialized, but it is time to start piecing things together. The everyday tasks that are usually completed easily will feel monumental today. 7 miles. With each step I take, I hope to push my demons further away, and get my mind back to a better place."

Just as a follow up to this journal entry, this was the day I had to hike to Woodshole Hostel in Pearisburg, VA.  I ended up pulling myself together and getting there by early afternoon. When I got there I had care packages from 3 fantastic people waiting for me. I know it might not seem like a big deal to anyone else, but even these small acts of kindness mean the world to me. Life is easier when you know you aren't facing the world alone. This was my first and only flare up of depression on the trail. Even on the rainiest days, I am happy to be out here and thankful to have the opportunity to do what I love. 

Woodshole was a great place to arrive when I needed my mind set straight. 

Still Going Strong

It has been a while since I've posted anything of substance to this blog. Since Damascus I haven't had any cell phone or internet reception. I also met up with a fantastic group of thru-hikers and got into a habit of hiking faster and further than I had been to keep up with them. Although it was amazingly motivating and pushed me past what I was physically capable of, hiking with this crew definitely put a strain on both Roxy and me. 

Exhaustion has been tough to overcome, especially during the past 2 days. 

Tomorrow we are taking a zero day. A day of no hiking, so that we can rest, relax, and recover. It is only the third zero day we have taken since starting the trail. 

 We are also binge eating in an attempt to gain back some weight. I've been really good about carrying enough food for Roxy and making sure that she stays healthy, but I've been a little negligent about my own diet. As I've mentioned before, I am very committed to eating healthy foods out here, but that means that most of my foods are not as high calorie as highly processed artificial snack foods. I've dropped down to 130 pounds, the smallest I've been since high school (I was 160 when I started the trail). 

I need to be strong, not skinny. 

Although losing a little weight was to be expected, I need to make sure I have enough energy to keep climbing these mountains. I'm realizing that I need to eat more while I'm on the trail, and listen to my body. That unfortunately means that  have to give up my crew of hiking buddies and focus on doing what's best for me. 

A yummy way of getting healthy fats. 

So Roxy and I are taking a short break, and then we will continue hiking at a pace more suitable for us. The past few weeks I've felt myself slipping from my ended purpose. Instead of hiking my own hike, I was hiking to have friends. Making friends is great, but I need to focus on my needs and Roxy's needs. We are going to eat better and avoid exhaustion, so that we maintain our strength throughout the entire Appalachian Trail. 

Over 1/4 of the way there; still many miles ahead.